30 Something And Single

Even as I write the title for this, I cringe a bit. It’s as if I should be on display at a circus — hey, kids! Check out that single girl over there! Don’t get too close, she might bite.

I promise. I won’t bite. I mean, unless you’re into that ūüėČ

Oh look. It’s February 15 and I’m still breathing. I mean barely .. my pants are a little tight from all the pizza I ate last night. Let me be the first to tell you. I’m okay. We’re okay. I know so many amazing women my age and even some older (gasp!), who are also still single. In fact, a research study from 2011 found that only 51% of adults are married, down from 72% from 1961. So I guess that makes me in the slightly smaller “minority”, though if 2016 taught us anything, it’s that even the “smaller” numbers have power.

While I have many friends who have met their significant others online, for whatever reason, I’m still too prideful to sign up for a dating site. My only “brush” with online dating was when Tinder was all the rage. I matched with a guy who ended up being at the same location I was, so we met up and exchanged numbers. The next day,¬†Facebook loaded up his profile and asked me if I wanted to add him as a friend. His girlfriend looked super cute in his profile picture. #TinderFail.

It’s not something I actively think about on most days and am certainly not sitting at home feeling sorry for myself. I enjoy being¬†single, having fun and quite frankly, doing whatever the hell I want¬†ūüôā¬†Of course, there are those days when I feel lonely or the holidays when I’m still the “single” girl coming home alone to mom and dads. My grandmother stopped asking me about a boyfriend years ago. I’m fairly certain she’s given up on me.

In my “30-some years”, I’ve met some great guys and some guys I wish I would have never met.¬†I’ve had some amazing experiences and¬†I’ve had¬†my heart broken. I’ve had my paths cross with guys I never thought possible and even still doesn’t always seem real. Every one of them taught me something — though some lessons more impactful than others.

I’ve held on to things far too long out of fear to never feel those feelings again. While those experiences broke my heart, once the fog cleared, I was able to see so clearly what I truly want and deserve. And through it all, though sometimes I didn’t know how, all 5’2″ of me is still standing. I’m still here, in all of my pieces.¬†I’m not looking for the “perfect” guy or “perfect” relationship. Though, don’t ask my friends, they will probably disagree.

I never want to marry a man because he checks a proverbial box.

I want to marry a man because he makes me want to be a better person. Because I can’t imagine my life without him. Because I want to have a family with him. Because I want grow old and wrinkly with him, while we sit on the front porch in rocking chairs talking about the good ol’ days.

Cheers to hopefully meeting the love of my life and enjoying the love I have in my life until then!

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